Ever since we got engaged, Future Husband has been annoying me. The loo seat gets left up more now, or his loudness is extra jarring, or his loving looks make me feel panicked and trapped. I put it down to stress and then as it went on, got more and more concerned. Why did I feel like I wanted to push him away? Why was the fact that I'd agreed to him being the only man in my life for the next 60 years freak me out so hard? I was getting terribly, horribly worried I had agreed to marry him only to fall out of love with him.
It was fair agony being in my head. Because, of course, I do love him. I'm so happy with him. Yes, he's not perfect. Neither am I. Yes, he irritates me a fair proportion of the time. I'm annoying as well. I was really wondering what was going on when a friend said 'Oh, you have first-year itis a bit early, that's all.'
What on earth was that? I research and Lucy Mangan explained it all. Many newly-weds settle down only to find themselves horrified by the fact that they have made a legally binding and public commitment to another person - and one that chews with his mouth open to boot. The slap of reality after the romance, if you will. She explained so clearly exactly what I was going through that the relief felt like someone rubbing my shoulders while monks chanted softly in the background.
I wasn't going mad. I wasn't falling out of love with my finace. I was just reacting fairly normally to the lifelong commitment I was planning on making and my brain was assessing this and testing for holes.
Anyone else out there experience this when they got engaged?
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