Mrs Blobby in a Dress

While we're on the topic of wedding dresses, I have a confession: I am not at all excited or thrilled at the prospect of The Dress TM. There is a very good reason for this and then another, smaller reason.

The main reason: I am fat. I am five foot three and I'm a UK size 16. I have a prominent belly and I don't look very good in clothes. I have very low self-esteem. I am now exercising at least four times a week and am on a strict diet, and the idea is to lose at least 45 lbs before I start shopping. So I can't get excited about wedding dresses, because a) if I tried it on now I wouldn't look very good and I would cry and b) when I think about dresses, I think about muscle pain, being unable to breathe and salads.

You can see how this a downer.

Oh, and I'm not slagging women who are size 16 and higher and proud - you go and be proud. Full figured women can be gorgeous. I am not one of those women. I am not curvy, or full-figured - I do not go in at any point. I look like someone who should be a size 12-14 and has eaten too much because that is exactly what I am. The shortness doesn't help either. I'm like an apple with dumpy legs.

The smaller reason is that when I think about structured gowns, my lungs get worried. I don't want a lot of structure digging into my rib cage. I want to be able to breathe and eat on my wedding day. Beading makes me worry about scratching the inside of my upper arms, as this is what happens when I wear anything beaded, and lace makes me simply itchy all over. I generally dislike all decoration that traditionally goes on wedding dresses. Plus, white and ivory are not my colours. I have seen maybe two dresses I like and that's it.

So it's going to take a few months before I can get excited about wedding dresses, and I fear the actual shopping for them. I don't want the beading and lace that covers 90% of wedding dresses and so either my shopping will take minutes or months. Not an appealing prospect!

Movie weddings

Having a mosey around the internetz to see if I can spot any dress styles I like and I come across the following: two slide shows on movie and TV weddings.

It strikes me that most wedding dresses in movies and TV are either hideous or blah - the same no-sleeve dress with beading. I think the only one I'm drawn to is Anne Hathaway's in Bride Wars. Of course, the likelihood of me a) affording and b) fitting into a Vera Wang are slim to none, but oh well!