Bridesmaids Dilemma

Apart from 'Have you set a date yet?' the thing most people ask me is 'Who are your bridesmaids?'. And the problem is - I don't really know. As with most people by this age, you have a number of groups of friends - some overlap, some don't. And they all have their own lives to be getting on with. Invite one person out of a specific group and the other 2 girls in it might wonder why they weren't chosen. It gets a bit political.

I have a specific issue (or in fact, number of issues) in the fact that my definite bridesmaid lives in South Korea and won't be here until the wedding. So any leaning on her, taking her shopping with me or her orgainsing my Hen Night are out of the window. My fiance has chosen his sister as his best man, so while she's involved, she won't be with me the morning of the wedding. And my step-sister and I aren't hugely close, but I wouldn't mind having her - except my mother hates my step-mother and her children, so it would feel rude to my mother to choose her.

Now, I could just have one bridesmaid. But that seems a bit Billy-no-mates. So I was casting my eye around my friends, thinking who I would like to have with me on this journey. And it's a lot of people. But I can't ask this person as she's literally going through a breakdown and I don't want to add to the stress, and I can't ask this person because that's my fiance's ex, and I can't ask this person because she's about to have her first baby and I don't think she'll want to be bothered - I think she'll want any spare time to sleep!

There is a lot of pressure on brides to include a lot of their friends and to make it all 'girls together'. There is in fact one female friend I am thinking of, but I'm not sure if we are close enough yet, so I might wait. But while I do, I have definitely chosen one other person to be 'on my side' as it were - my best male friend Dan.

I figured, it's the 21st Century - surely I can have a bridesman, yes? There won't be any dresses involved, or anything like that. But I figured I could stretch to a nice suit, whether rented or bought, and a buttonhole and his calm influence and his piss-taking ways the morning of my wedding. I just hope he likes the idea when I ask him!